I need bear hugs

Things are going on in my head but it is kind of difficult to put it into words these days.

Too much is going on, I reckon. 

Too much happiness that making me scared. 

Scared that if I close my eyes, it will all suddenly disappeared.

His lovely face.

His gentle eyes.

His sweet smile.

His addictive smell. 

His intense gaze.

His firm grip when he holds my hand. 

His passionate kisses when he kisses me with his soft lips. 

His perfect thrusts when he takes me to the world of fantasy and pleasure. 

He is diamond. 

He is just a real booster when it comes to make me happy and I recklessly falling in love every time.

Every time. 

I wish I can throw away all of the sadness in my life and be his happy pills, but sometimes I am just the scoop of poison that he just have to swallow in order to keep me alive, am I?

I hope, I pray, this is not a dream.

Stay with me will you?

Do you hear me darling? 

Do you?

dreams, hugs and kisses,

natasyaizzati

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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tralala

Hello peeps,

I am now on my semester break. Finalleh. Im having the most awaiting break
Semester 3 broke my back
On this post I'm just gonna write about my sem break to-do-list
This is for a reminder to myself as well

Here we go.

                                            

             Jan-Feb 2017 to-do-list:

              1.Reply series marathon

              2. Star Wars series marathon

              3. Help mama more at home 

              4. Meet Poko sayang(praying hard for it)

              5. Stay clean for a month 

              6. JOG MORE!!!!!!

              7. Werk, werk, werk (need to find a job first!)                          8. Read more!

Im going to update the list from time to time. I hope I can croosscheck everything by the end of my sem break. ALL THE BEST NATASYA!!!

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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0253am

He thinks that I don't love him enough.

I think that he's not worth it to fight for.

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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Twenty-one

I am young and scared of nothing,

Except my mother who can occasionally be understanding

Always enchanted by the fullness of the moon, 

And easily scared of the future that will come soon. 

Being young and reckless

I am so close from being a heartless

Because I put my heart on the sleeve

But people always leave.

I keep on telling myself that I am not broken, 

just bent,

Wishing, praying, that happiness will wait for me at the end.

But before I can find happiness from someone else's arms,

I should learn to appreciate the littlest things that keep my heart warm,

Because after all its self love that will save you, 

From losing yourself to the most devilish flu. 

x,

natasyaizzati

0046hrs

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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25/9

Your lips are like the sweet and bitter taste of caramel latte which i love,
And I got addicted to it.

...

Put your fingers between mine
Hold my hand as long as you want
Because that little act just blow my mind

...

I wanted to say, "I think I like you"
But keeps it as goodnight
Because "like" means I'm going to fall
And I'm afraid of heights

...and in the end, I kept it all to myself. 

world off,

1735hrs

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Once

Once,
I found someone who makes me feel like stars turn into constellations
I found someone who brings me rainbows into my life
I found someone who loves seeing me smiling instead of frowning
I found someone whom I feel safe to be with
I found someone who knows that I prefer coffee better than tea
Most importantly,
I found someone whom I will never stop choosing
But he stopped choosing me.

Now,
I'm happy
Or am I pretending to be?

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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where is me?

Once lead to twice and more. I admit that I'm having a difficult time searching for myself. I don't know where I should go. Should I turn back or should I just go forward or should I change my path? My emotions got stirred up frequently especially these few days. My mum got married, an unwelcomed step siblings, a depressed sister, pressuring family, sick dad, and yes the list goes on. I'm not complaining about all the problems I have. I know God gives me all the problems because He knows I can go through all that. But I'm fighting for myself. Struggling to find the real me. What I truly want in life.

I'm lost at the moment. I keep on looking for things to blame and there's no one else except me to be blamed on. I am at the bottom of the stirring wheel of my life. I'm afraid of losing good people around me and I have trust issue. You can find me smiling most of the times and laugh out my problems but I am just sad inside.

To those who know what I'm talking about, I am truly sorry for showing you this side of me. I never planned on this. I'm sorry.

natasyaizzati

0010hrs

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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It's the littlest things in life that makes life more meaningful.

Hello peeps.

Recently, I just abled to crosscheck one thing in my life bucket list. That is to travel and do voluntary work. It all started before my sem break. I found out about a voluntary programme organised by HOPE, an organisation comprises of Malaysian students who study abroad. But the programme, CHANCE, involved both local and abroad students. We went to Kelantan for 4 days, to 3 different districts Tanah Merah, Jeli and Pasir Puteh.

Apart from the experience of doing voluntary work (which I might be going to write in different post bcuz my brother disturb me to ask me accompany him watching the badminton quarter-final match), the friendship build throughout the whole time when I was in Kelantan and Kuala Lumpur, will never be forgotten. May the friendship never ends.

And then I realized, adventures are best learn when you experience.

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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A start to a new beginning(?)

Assalamualaikum and hello guys,

So, I am actually on my semester break. I've just finished my second semester in degree and guess what, time does fly fast. Wayyyyy too fast. I can't believe the fact that I'll be in my second year of degree in few weeks time.

Okay. Let's move on to the main point.

As usual, on semester, I'm doing nothing at home except helping my mum with some house chores, cooking lunch and my new task is to pick up my lil bro or cuzie from school. And I'll spend the rest of my days either watching movies, reading novels or watch videos on Youtube. One day, I had this crazy idea of starting up my own YouTube channel but yeah I don't think it suits me. Still, I wanna try something new since I have a LOT of free time. Since I cook almost daily, so I'm thinking of starting a new recipe blog. I'll share with people my recipes and some cooking tips maybe. I am not that good in cooking actually, still a beginner, but why not right? I have started collecting some pictures of my food and the ingredients for it and I hope I can start writing the blog soon. In shaa Allah. I'll share with you guys the link to the recipe blog when I'm done with it and I'll keep on updating new recipes there. Yknow, maybe from there you can have some ideas what to cook for your family. And yeah, do dm me to give ideas on what recipe I should try cooking and I'll share my experience on the blog. Toast for the new beginning.

food and love,

natasyaizzati

1802hrs

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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let the sun shines

"The moment that you feel that just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself, that's the moment you may be starting to get it right."

Am I getting it right? Hmmm

I looked at my reflection on the mirror. I can't see me.
The longer I looked at it, the more it fades.

I'm not sure what stage of life am I experiencing right now, but I know that I'm lost.
I wish for light, but I ignore it every time I see it.
I fight from loneliness, but being lonely is what I used to be.
Is the life I live now the life that I would live for the rest of my life?
Would I stop doing the things I shouldn't do?
Or would I quit life in the middle?

I feel high sometimes, feeling ecstasy.
I wish for more,
I want to challenge more.
All that I do, is to satisfy myself.
But do I feel satisfied?
Will I ever get enough?

For being a sinner,
I still pray to God to get me out of this.
But if heart is half willing,
Even if the chances are numerous,
I will never get out.
Blinded, cuffed.

You should look at me now.

I wish for things to get better,
And that is my earnest wish.

love

natasyaizzati

....hrs

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BIG THANKS = HANDS DOWN :D

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