Heyya peeps.
Here am I, sucking some courage to write something. I deleted some of my previous posts due to some "technical" reason. They're not that important anymore, and I'm trying to forget every part of that memories in my life although I know it is every impossible. However, I wont just let my past dictate who am I, instead, I will let it be a part who I will become. That sentence sounds so cool right? It's not mine duh :P I watched this movie called "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and one of the character in the movie (whom I found cute) said that once.
Back to the story of my feelings.
I think I'm going through a pitfall. I don't know. I'm just not sure about most things in my life. Or is that a normal thing to feel when you're in the process of "growing up", in the process of maturing. I don't know. So yes, I think I'm changing. DRASTICALLY. which sometimes I feel scared of. I think I changed too much which make me feel as if this soul occupying my body isn't mine. Things happen and constantly changing a little here and there. I guess it is the consequences of all the "small" decisions I made in the past.
Despite of all the SCARY emotions (losing, sadness, frightened,.., ), I guess I should be thankful for every single person who have been with me as I go through a lot of emotional changes and mood swings. My mum, my friends. The good and the bad ones, the painful moment and the joy, the happiness and loneliness that I went through, I share with my friends. And they have been very NICE and SUPPORTIVE for me and I always have admired all of them; the way they think and solve problems; all of them have their own way and their own piece of advice that they shared to me. I couldn't THANK them enough. I just hope and wait till the day I can I stop looking for the missing part that I thought I need because I actually don’t.
Now, I'm just gonna wait for things to fall into places and for my life to become better and clearer. I'm just gonna PRAY HARDER, develop more MATURE thinking, set my own PRIORITIES. Most of all, I'm gonna take things slowly, to do one thing at a time, to not rush through things and give love endlessly to people around me. I'm gonna make myself happier because I should. I'm gonna try new things and meet new people though its awkward at first. I'm gonna take RISK! I'm a big girl, I make my own decision and I wont let anyone influences me anymore (I cant cross out my mum tho :')) I should do better in my studies, I have started to love and enjoy the course I'm doing rn. AND, I should train myself be a good listener and give appropriate response when people tell me their stories. I'm gonna do more things that made me happy.
I should go and love myself
natasyaizzati
2203hrs